The Call of the Lord

To say the Lord has been stretching me lately is an understatement.

These last two weeks has forced me to rely on Him more than I ever have in the past.

In the last 4 days, I have moved 7 hours away from most of the people I know, including my immediate family, moved in with a couple I had never met before, and started a job in a new town that I don't know how to navigate yet. 

For a once timid girl who never thought she'd leave her hometown, and at one point had plans to buy a house next door to her parents, this has been quite the change. 

This, admittedly, is both what I wanted, and have felt the Lord's calling to do for almost a year now. 

I have also been feeling uncommonly overwhelmed, and have been driving my own pity train off the cliffs of insanity for the last couple of days. (kudos if you understand that last reference) 

Because of all of this, and because I could too easily turn this post into a pity party of epic proportions, I am instead going to list the things I have been thankful for today.

I am thankful that I have a car that can help me explore town, and get lost every day.

I am thankful for the friend that called me yesterday, excited beyond words, to tell me about the cats she met at the humane society. She brightened my whole week. 

I am thankful for the friend that has been texting me all day with witticisms and funny questions about men I might find in this small town. 

I am thankful that you can get from one end of town to the other in 10 minutes or less, so I'm almost never late.

I am thankful for the coffee shop I'm in right now. Impeccable coffee, friendly staff, and only open until 5:30 Mondays-Wednesdays. This is truly a small town, and I kind of love it. 

I am thankful for the conversation I just overheard, about a man who hasn't payed his taxes "since the year after Obamacare came out." Enough said.

I am thankful for the couple I'm staying with, who have an evil cat, but who couldn't be more welcoming and kind.

I am thankful for the kids that I've gotten to work with over the last week. From the little girl with bright blue eyes who told me "by the way, I think you're beautiful", to the one who growled at me, and the little one with a cold who asked me to hold her hand every time we went somewhere. I'm so incredibly blessed that I get to work with kids all day. 

  

I am thankful for my family. The ones I didn't realize I would miss this much when I moved. It's been their support, a phone call or two, and the "good morning sunshine!" texts that have helped me feel loved..

I am thankful, so so very thankful, for my best friend Beth, who has been my rock when I've been a mess all week, supporting me, listening to my pity party, and, in true best friend fashion, telling me to suck it up when I've gotten too irrational with my worries.

I'm sure I could list a dozen more, given enough time, but it boils down to this:

I am thankful for the the guiding hand of the Lord in all of this.

Amidst all of my irrational worries, fears, and loneliness, I know the Lord has got me. He has called me here for a reason. While I can only begin to glimpse that reason now, He will show it to me in time. 

Do not fear, for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, and give you help. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Thank you Abba.

Hanna Elizabeth

Tis so sweet

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word

Just to rest upon his promise

Just to know, thus says the Lord

This song has been one of my favorites for a long time. The version I listen to is so upbeat and fun, and I love the idea of trusting in the Lord, and how sweet a reward it is, when I know He has got me in His hands.

Sometimes, trusting the Lord is easy. 

I trusted Him to provide a place for me to stay in my new town, and He answered that one in three days.

Oh, wait, that was actually a week of waiting, and I was pretty worried about that for a while...

Well...I trusted him to....

Ok, scratch that. Trusting the Lord is difficult.

This week has been heart wrenching at times. Every day at the chapel, on my knees, sometimes weeping before the Lord, asking him, why? why?

My heart was filled with fear, overwhelmed, and a little angry.

How could he mess everything up? I'm not ready for this, I'm not emotionally prepared, not physically prepared, I'm not even spiritually prepared! I cried to Him. 

6 hours, and my plans were changed.

My perfect, tidy plans of moving that I've prided myself on, and that I worked out the the most minute detail. 

To quote my best friend "Hang on a second, while I laugh with God at your plans."

My first mistake was having tidy, supposedly set in stone plans in the first place. 

I left no room for the Lord to change them, fix them really, and so when He did, I played tug of war for a little while. 

If you've ever played tug of war with God, you know how that one ended.

As I've reevaluated, adjusted, and changed my course to fit the new plan the Lord was putting in front of me, the only two things I could do were to mope, and feel sorry for myself, or to trust Him.

I tried moping for a while, but I'm pretty sure He just chuckled a little bit and kept going.

The only thing I had left to do was trust Him, and start walking through the door He opened for me.

And lean on Him for strength. 

Another friend gave me a perfect analogy for my week.

"It's like you're on a path, and the only part of the path you can see is the small place in front of you that your lamp is shining on. I think your verse this week is Psalm 119:105-Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

She was right. 

Here I was, stressed out and overwhelmed because I couldn't see more than a foot in front of me, but that was all I needed to see. That was all He wanted me to see, so the only thing I could do is take only the ones illuminated by His lamp.

So yes, when it is all said and done, it is so sweet to trust in Jesus. Sometimes the sweetness doesn't come until after I trust him with my whole heart and ALL of my plans. 

Maybe, as I get better at trust, it will get sweeter earlier. 

Hanna Elizabeth