Confidence in Him

I didn't really want to write this post.

In fact, I got halfway through last night, and almost decided to scrap this whole thing.
Why?

Fear. 

Fear of being real and truly authentic, and discussing the problems I have in my own life. Fear of what people might think, even if that is the four people that may read this blog.

Then, as I was looking at my emails this morning, this one came up:

We love seeing the confidence that arises in the children we serve as they begin to truly believe they are beautiful, valuable and loved. This girl in India radiates pride as she wears her very best traditional clothing for a special occasion.

Ok Lord, I hear you loud and clear. 

Maybe this post is for someone who struggles with their self worth and confidence.

Maybe this post is just for me, to get my thoughts out.

Whatever the case. Here goes.

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Growing up, one of my mom's favorite mantras was "people can tell when you're confident."
She was right. When you see someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin, it seems to exude from them, produce a healthy glow or something of the sort which tells the world "I know who I am, and I know what I am: beautiful, attractive, intelligent, fill in good quality here."

Yet it goes deeper than that.
A person who is truly confident also knows their worth.

People who are confident know that they are worth getting to know, worth loving, that they should be valued and treated with care and kindness.
They show this confidence by treating others in the same fashion.

I stepped into my bathroom to get ready for an evening out. Nothing crazy, just going out with friends. But as I stood in front of my mirror, I felt this crazy fear begin to well up inside of me. How did I want myself to appear tonight? Confident, of course, but I also wanted to appear knowledgeable, modern, interesting, like someone who is worth getting to know.
And I had no idea of how to achieve that look.
Was this piece of jewelry working with this outfit? Would this shirt match my headband?
On and on it went, and the fear slowly began to take over.
Finally, as I walked into my room for another change of jewelry, it hit me:

I can only be who I am.

Even if  I appear to be a certain person, put on tons of makeup, do my hair a certain way, wear certain clothes or jewelry, in the end, it doesn't matter.

You can only hide your true self for so long before it starts to show.

I struggle with confidence on a daily basis. Confidence in my appearance, confidence in my teaching skills, confidence in who I am as a person. The Lord has grown my confidence exponentially and I am much more comfortable in my own skin than I used to be, but sometimes, I let His Joy become overshadowed by the fear of who I want to become.

Tonight, I looked up verses that had to do with confidence. I was sure there was at least one in there that would tell me that why I should be confident in who I was.
It is true that there are numerous verses which tell us our worth.

But every verse about confidence I found had one thing in common: Confidence in Christ.

Note: bold emphasis in these verses is my own.

1 John 5:14: This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Ephesians 3:12: In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Hebrews 4:16:  Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Jeremiah 17:7: But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Philippians 1:6: being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Our confidence...my confidence, should be in Jesus, his sacrifice on the cross, and that He will carry me through.

Knowing that I can both approach Him with confidence, and have confidence in Him, means that I can have confidence in myself.
Because He is who He says, I can have confidence in who He says I am.

That I am valuable, beautiful, and loved by Him.

He created me...He created you, to be a certain way, and to know your worth.

Because when we know our worth, and have confidence in who the Lord created us to be, we can begin to glorify Him more.

And that is the truest Joy one can have.

Hanna Elizabeth