Home

Home
How does one word invoke so much peace?

It's amazing what one little word can do. Ask a total stranger on the street about their home, and watch their expression change, soften, and lose its careworn appearance. 

My Ideal house has a wrap around porch and enough room
for 8+ kids, a husband, and a dog named Murphy. 

No matter where it is, the type of home that makes people relax and smile involves comfort, love, warmth, and care. A place where others will be welcomed and treated like family.

Yet even with all of these things, and more, there will still always be conflict, hurt, pain, fear, and anger. Even in good homes, we are all still flawed and empty, yearning for something more to fill us up.

Yet ask anyone, and they will tell you that they yearn for a  place to call Home, even if they've never experienced it before. 

So where is our true home to be found? With the people we love? Of course.
Having a soft bed? In the most beautiful house we can find, with a four car garage and a big backyard?

Not so much.

Our eternal home, of course, is in heaven, but on earth, things are a bit trickier.
Our earthly home is where the Lord leads us, sustains us, guides us, grows us, and brings us to his presence. Whether that be the furthest reaches of Africa, or in your hometown in the Midwest, that is often up to Him.

Where is Home?
It may be better to ask,
what is home?

Hanna Elizabeth

Insects buzzed around me as I sat in the tall grass, drinking in the beauty of the sunset.
Beams of light spewed forth from the sun as it sank, and shot forth onto the mounting thunderheads in the north east.

The sticky heat had been oppressive all day, and the living ached for the coolness of the breeze.
Yet still the sun sank, and the sky grew more vibrant as the clouds turned from pink to purple, against the stark blue and orange hue of the sky.

A tree which had given up its will to live sat creaking in the wind, lamenting its fate, as a large crow alighted on it.

As the sun's beams continued trying to pierce the growing mountains of clouds in the north east, the thunderheads stubbornly refused to yield their bleach white color.

As I continued to watch the battle between sun and clouds, even as the sun began to retreat, a third, darker element gradually came into view.

Thin fingers of suave grey from the south began reaching in the sun's direction
as flashes of light told me the bigger story may lay behind me.

The fingers of darkness continued to reach out to cover the light, and the flashes of light to my back became faster.

The puffs of cool breeze which had been absent all day began to replace the heat, and suddenly, every insect was gone.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.

This thought enveloped me as I watched the impending storm creep across the sky.

This is going to be a big one I thought, as the clouds continued to darken and spread.

The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Its insistence made me pause. Why did I so often become afraid of the darkening clouds, seeming to block each light beam in its path? Even if it looks bleak, why should I not trust?

The rumble of thunder in the black sky behind me gave me a sliver of fear.

The thunder and dark clouds seem so frightening in our own lives, but what happens after each thunderstorm?

The Sun comes out.

Jesus, please do not let me forget your constant presence, even when the dark clouds build behind me.

Hanna Elizabeth

Fear, and What to Do with It

I'm moving in four months.

Even to write that seems foreign to the little girl who had her life all planned out for the town she grew up in.

I was the kid who always had the answer to that classic question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Grow up, graduate college by 22, meet and marry a good Christian guy who was tall, dark and handsome, and settle down to teach 3rd grade in my hometown and raise 3 kids.

Perfect
Idyllic
and boring.

Here I am at 24

Single
Almost finished with college,
and about to move to a new state to teach preschool.

The Lord is funny with His plans, isn't He?

Yet even as I've prayed and thought and prayed some more, realizing that this is truly my desire, Fear begins to creep in.

I'm so afraid that I'll hate it. That I'll miss my family too much, and regret my decision, that I won't make any new friends, or that I won't find a church family as wonderful as the one I have now.

I'm afraid of losing touch with my friends back home, that I'll be bored in the little town of 14,000 when I grew up in a city of 70,000. I'm afraid that I won't be able to make enough money, that I won't ever meet my Romeo who I've been waiting for.

Even though I've grown and changed, and the Lord has given me confidence and independence, a thirst for adventure and new things, and a great and mighty Love that I know will not let me go,
Deep down, I'm still that fearful little girl who had her life planned out, and who couldn't bring herself to talk to strangers.

I wonder why I'm really so afraid. I mean, the Lord tells us 365 times in the bible not to fear.
Fear should be something I can pray against, and it will magically go away.

Right?

"Fear is necessary for us to be courageous." A wise man told me the other day.

Every time I think of it, these words brings tears to my eyes, because there is so much truth, and so much relief in that one sentence.

I don't have to fight the feeling of fear which grows whenever I think of leaving.

All I have to do is act in spite of it, and follow where God leads, and He will do the rest.

Hanna Elizabeth

Good Good Father

Why is the Lord so good to us?
That's a silly question you might say.
He's good to us because He's good and kind and loving. He's good to us because He is, as the song says, a good good father who takes care of us.

Yes, but there's more. The Lord is so good to us, that He takes care of our needs, gives us our desires, and grants us blessings abundantly.

What has been striking me, is how often he saves us from Ourselves.

When we want something so badly, that relationship, that promotion at work, or even the approval of others, and the Lord says simply.
No
What ensues can be a mixture of whining, complaining, frustration, and bitterness.

How dare God tell me no! Doesn't He know that this thing is going to make me happiest?

We fume for days or even months on end like a petulant child tugging at God's sleeves, continually asking Him to grant our requests.

Then one day, we wake up, look behind us, and realize that the one thing we've wanted all this time, wasn't actually what we needed-or truly desired

Realizing that I got what I truly needed, instead of what I wanted is a humbling experience.

As I hang my head in shame as I look back on the many times that I've been guilty of these things, my gracious Father lifts my face gently, so that I can meet His gaze.
"You are forgiven. Trust Me and move forward with boldness"  He says, His voice like soft thunder.

He forgives me, refines me, and irons out the wrinkles one by one.

We have a good, good Father.

In Christ,
Hanna Elizabeth

The Power of a Smile

I've been wondering how many times a day I smile.
I have two jobs this summer, one at a credit union, and one at a tutoring agency, so I have plenty of opportunities to smile.
As I've been considering this, I am beginning to realize there's usually two very different responses to a smile.

When I'm tutoring, 99% of the time, a kid's first response is to smile back. I think it's part of being young and un-jaded, and it's one of the millions of reasons I want to spend the rest of my life working with kids.
It's also a reason I wish I could go back to being a kid.

One of my favorite quotes

Psychologically, our automatic response to a smile is to smile back. Yet even before our facial muscles react, when we receive a smile from someone, our brain releases endorphins (the chemical responsible for happiness and Joy) into our brain. A returned smile creates even more endorphins, and a connection is made between two people. It is actually healthy for you to smile! 

Then there's the second response, which I get more often: The un-reciprocated smile. Otherwise known as the Dead-Eyed-Stare-Straight-Ahead Look. The look you get often when you're in customer service. 

Maybe that person has had a hard day. 

Maybe they are upset about a problem they're having.

Maybe they just don't like to smile.

Whatever the reason, this type of reaction can be a little deflating.

Personally, I see it as a challenge. 

Once I get this type of reaction, I try to make it my goal to get that person to smile. Sometimes I'll ask them questions, tell a silly joke (puns are my favorite, and they're usually effective), or just be as genuine and kind as I can. 

And you know what?

85% of the time, it works, and they're smiling at the end of our conversation. 

My smile gives them Joy, and their smile gives me Joy. 

It's a win-win.

Maybe trying to make people smile isn't your cup of tea, but what can you do every day to try to spread a little Joy?

Hanna Elizabeth

Embrace the Broken

“We have no more food in the house. I don’t know if I’m going to have supper tonight.”

The shock of this statement washed over me as I listened to this little boy show me how sheltered and blessed I really was.

You really begin to question your priorities when you hear these words coming from a kindergartener.

How can we not become crushed by the weight of the world’s problems? With all of the pain, heartache, and evil in this world, how should we respond? My first, albeit unhelpful response is to become overwhelmed and discouraged. How can I possibly solve these huge problems? I have taken to avoiding the news now, because I struggle to handle the vast amount of suffering I am exposed to.

But as this little boy in a local school quickly taught me, there are few places I can go to escape exposure to suffering.

We as Christians do this frequently-try to escape the world. We have our Christian bookstores, Christian schools (or homeschooling) Christian radio stations, and have exclusively Christian friends. We can even go to Christian-run establishments to shop, find Christian movie review websites to find out exactly what questionable materials are in each movie we expose our children to. In the United States today, one can essentially live inside a self-made, Christian bubble to a large extent, shielding oneself by and large from the outside world and the suffering and evil that is its trademark.

But is that what we are called to do?

Jesus didn’t eat with the best people, and isolate himself to be with the people who went to church.

He ate with the tax collectors and sinners. He ate with the worst of the worst.
His disciples? Men who worked with fish for a living, who had little money and less decorum.

He hung out with the broken, and ministered to their needs.

I can turn off the news, go to my Christian establishments, and hang out with my Christian friends, but if I’m actually going to follow the example of this Jesus I talk so much about, I need to be in the world.

I need to understand suffering, and embrace those who are broken.

I need to Love everyone around me.

My heart sometimes breaks for the children like that little boy whose next meal depends on a bag of food from school.

In response to my breaking heart, my calling is to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these people.

To use what resources I’ve been blessed with to step outside of my sanitized Christian bubble.

I need to embrace the broken, hurting, careworn people around me who are crying out for all the love I can give.

Musings on Musicals

Today, I was listening to several different songs from various classic musicals, and I began to wonder...

What is up with people who don't like musicals? I have met a handful of these interesting people in my life, and I must say, the best reason they give is that "no one goes around singing like that in public."
Your point being....?

Yet, in order to allow these realists to jump on the musical bandwagon, perhaps we should normalize impulsive leaps into song in our daily lives.

Now I will admit that a few people I know do this anyway. But how much more exciting and joyful would life be if more people spontaneously broke into song (and perhaps dance) as they completed mundane tasks?

To begin this trend, I issue you, my readers, a challenge. At least two times this week, I challenge you to break into song during your daily routine. You don't have to sing well, or even on key, just start to sing. Monitor how it affects your mood, the days circumstances, and your overall joy this week.
You won't be disappointed.

Hanna Elizabeth

Love God, Love People

Hello, my name is Hanna, and I am an over-analyzer.

Hi Hanna

But I have been realizing lately, that some things just don't need to be analyzed quite so deeply.
Some truths are simple and straightforward.
For example,

What are the two greatest commandments?

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39

That's it.
Love God with all of you, and love people.

Neither of these are always easy tasks, nor are they simple, I mean, how do we Love people who we don't agree with for one thing? How do we love people, even if they've done something terrible? How do we really love God, for that matter?

Ok, so evidently this isn't as simple as I originally thought. Meaning, that analysis is needed again.

But since it's late, and I have a fourth grade field trip to attend tomorrow, I will leave my readers with a little bit of mystery.

How do we Love God, and Love people?

What does this look like?

How can we as believers do these things every day?

Hanna Elizabeth

Comparison is the Death of the Spiritual Life

It has been nearly a week since I have even looked at my blog, but not for reasons you might think.

No, I wasn't really too busy, I have had some great opportunities to write, and some thoughts I felt were worthy to share. 

But as I sat down tonight to write, I was inexplicably filled with a desire to avoid it yet again.

Why? Perhaps a bit of laziness. It seemed like such a daunting task waiting for me.

Mostly, though, I have been wondering about other people.

I read several different blogs, and I have been reading quite a few well written books lately. And in the same way that I hesitate when I write stories, or when I consider writing books someday, I sometimes hesitate to blog.

Does anyone really read this? I wonder. So many other people do this better than me. My thoughts aren't really that original, someone, somewhere has (blogged, written, fill in the blank) the same ideas as me, and probably done it better. What if people don't like what I'm writing?

Does my voice even really matter?

As the voice of doubt whispers in my ear, I begin to compare myself to those around me.

"Comparison is the death of the spiritual life."

I'm not sure who said that, but it's my best friend's favorite saying, and it comes to mind every time I start to compare myself to others.

Every time doubts and fears creep into my mind.

It's true. When they told you in elementary school that you should be worrying about yourself and not the kid next to you, they were right. When your mom said to your ten-year-old self that it doesn't matter what your brother did to you, you need to think about what you did, she was right. 

There's a reason why God tells us "But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor." Galatians 6:4-5.

I could add, or a random person's blog, or compare your own writing to that of great authors...or fill in the blank with your own comparison or doubt.

Because when we compare, we begin to lose sight of what really matters. 

What matters is that the Lord put you and I on this earth for a specific purpose. 

To glorify Him in all that we do. 

That may be blogging and teaching for me, or being a firefighter or working in a crisis pregnancy center, or being a rocket scientist for you, I don't know. 

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31 (emphasis mine)

As I write this, I am reminded of a few important things that should be remembered as comparison and doubt rear their ugly heads. 

I am a child of the living God, the one who breathed the stars into existence.

I am loved infinitely by Him, and created by Him with gifts talents for a specific purpose.

I was created to glorify Him with the gifts and talents He has given me.  

So when I compare myself to others, it's like comparing a giraffe and an orange. Both have different uses. 

You probably wouldn't want to juice a giraffe, and an orange would be the last thing I would want to eat leafy greens off a tall tree. 

It doesn't matter what other people are doing, or how they are doing it.

It matters what you and I are doing with the talents we are given.

Soli Deo Gloria

Hanna Elizabeth

His Presence on the Prairie

Have you ever had an ache for time with the Lord?

An itch to go somewhere peaceful, completely alone, and bask in his presence?

It is a curious, driving feeling, something that can't be explained unless you've felt it.
Some go to chapels, a special place at home, in their cars.

My favorite place is on the prairie, under the stars.

The twinkling clusters of homes, nestled into the prairie swells. The endless sea of grasses, stretching for miles, rolling along uninhibited by more than a few trees planted in windbreaks.

My favorite part are the lights. Not from the cities, for we have only a few, but the ones overhead.
The red twinkle of mars,
The big dipper,
Orion's belt,
and the benevolent, cool face of the moon, illuminating the dirt roads and peaceful fields.

The trill of crickets calling to find a mate,
the rattle of cicadas doing the same,
the rustle of some ground dwelling creature passing through,
even the occasional coyote band,

The prairie is never silent.

And who can forget the wind? Always the wind.
With no trees to slow it down, nothing hinders its journey through the prairies. Sometimes fierce and wild, biting our faces, roaring through with a blizzard or a rainstorm as its companions.

Other times, rarer times, it is soft, kind, pleasing your ears with gentle rustlings as it moves through the dry grasses, caressing your skin as it swirls around you.

Although some complain that it never stops, we miss it when the grasses are still.

There has always been a touch of mystery to the wind. Gentle, Angry, Howling, Soft, the wind is never quite tame or predictable.

"The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3:8

The wind reminds me of the Holy Spirit in some ways.
Always present, softly nudging our consciences in the right direction, as we sometimes begrudgingly listen. Occasionally It overwhelms us with its power.

And sometimes, It is silent.

And when It is silent, we miss It. Our hearts seem still.

Sometimes we panic, trying everything to get It to come back, or sink into despair, thinking that we'll never hear it again.

But always, always, in the right time, It returns, a still small voice. guiding us, leading us to communion with Him.

The prairie is where I feel closest to the Lord...My own personal chapel.

I like to imagine God walking through the grasses, like He did in the Garden of Eden. Walking beside me, or simply sitting with me as I bask in His creation, His Joyous presence.

I think the prairie, is best enjoyed on a day where you can stand, face to the gentle wind, and let Him soak into your heart.

The presence of God is the most overwhelmingly beautiful thing one can ever experience. 

Seek His presence, wherever you are.

He will not disappoint.

Hanna Elizabeth

Finding Joy in the Little Things

It was going to be one of those days.

Not fifteen minutes into my morning, and a pit formed in my stomach. I could feel a migraine coming on.

No! I gritted my teeth and fumed internally. I have so much to do today! Please Lord, not today.

For me, a migraine can often be an all day misery. that leaves me sicker than a very sick dog, and in bed with the covers over my head, sleeping off multiple painkillers, home remedies, and unable to stand the sight of light.
This is it. So much for getting up early. The fatalist in me had elbowed its was past my Joy, Strength, and Positivity. Then Frustration took the wheel It doesn't make any sense, I've been eating well, sleeping well! Why did it have to be today when I'm so busy?

Definitely not the idea start to my morning.

Three hours and several home remedies and painkillers later, and the stabbing pain finally subsided.
I dragged my groggy, still frustrated body out of bed and begrudgingly thanked the Lord that it was over so quickly.
An hour later I was off to the third day of my tutoring job, minus the migraine, but still a little cranky and worn out.

I should have called in sick, I'm not prepared for this. But, here I was, at work, too late to turn around now.

Finally, my shift was over. Looking back, the shift wasn't too bad, and the kids did very well, but at the end of the day, I was exhausted.
As I began to clean up the materials from that day's lessons, I suppressed a sigh of fatigue, picturing my bed at home waiting for me.

Suddenly, I noticed I had a visitor. One of the kindergarten students I had tutored the day before had skipped over. Her long red curls were in a tangle, and her bright blue eyes watched my every move.

I couldn't help but smile as she greeted me, and then she leaned in with a conspiratorial look.

"I wish you were my teacher today."

With a gentle step forward, Joy took the wheel from Frustration, and all of it became worth it.

The Lord always knows just what we need to remember the important things in life, and to rediscover the strength in His Joy.

Hanna Elizabeth

Confidence in Him

I didn't really want to write this post.

In fact, I got halfway through last night, and almost decided to scrap this whole thing.
Why?

Fear. 

Fear of being real and truly authentic, and discussing the problems I have in my own life. Fear of what people might think, even if that is the four people that may read this blog.

Then, as I was looking at my emails this morning, this one came up:

We love seeing the confidence that arises in the children we serve as they begin to truly believe they are beautiful, valuable and loved. This girl in India radiates pride as she wears her very best traditional clothing for a special occasion.

Ok Lord, I hear you loud and clear. 

Maybe this post is for someone who struggles with their self worth and confidence.

Maybe this post is just for me, to get my thoughts out.

Whatever the case. Here goes.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Growing up, one of my mom's favorite mantras was "people can tell when you're confident."
She was right. When you see someone who is confident and comfortable in their own skin, it seems to exude from them, produce a healthy glow or something of the sort which tells the world "I know who I am, and I know what I am: beautiful, attractive, intelligent, fill in good quality here."

Yet it goes deeper than that.
A person who is truly confident also knows their worth.

People who are confident know that they are worth getting to know, worth loving, that they should be valued and treated with care and kindness.
They show this confidence by treating others in the same fashion.

I stepped into my bathroom to get ready for an evening out. Nothing crazy, just going out with friends. But as I stood in front of my mirror, I felt this crazy fear begin to well up inside of me. How did I want myself to appear tonight? Confident, of course, but I also wanted to appear knowledgeable, modern, interesting, like someone who is worth getting to know.
And I had no idea of how to achieve that look.
Was this piece of jewelry working with this outfit? Would this shirt match my headband?
On and on it went, and the fear slowly began to take over.
Finally, as I walked into my room for another change of jewelry, it hit me:

I can only be who I am.

Even if  I appear to be a certain person, put on tons of makeup, do my hair a certain way, wear certain clothes or jewelry, in the end, it doesn't matter.

You can only hide your true self for so long before it starts to show.

I struggle with confidence on a daily basis. Confidence in my appearance, confidence in my teaching skills, confidence in who I am as a person. The Lord has grown my confidence exponentially and I am much more comfortable in my own skin than I used to be, but sometimes, I let His Joy become overshadowed by the fear of who I want to become.

Tonight, I looked up verses that had to do with confidence. I was sure there was at least one in there that would tell me that why I should be confident in who I was.
It is true that there are numerous verses which tell us our worth.

But every verse about confidence I found had one thing in common: Confidence in Christ.

Note: bold emphasis in these verses is my own.

1 John 5:14: This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Ephesians 3:12: In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Hebrews 4:16:  Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Jeremiah 17:7: But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Philippians 1:6: being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Our confidence...my confidence, should be in Jesus, his sacrifice on the cross, and that He will carry me through.

Knowing that I can both approach Him with confidence, and have confidence in Him, means that I can have confidence in myself.
Because He is who He says, I can have confidence in who He says I am.

That I am valuable, beautiful, and loved by Him.

He created me...He created you, to be a certain way, and to know your worth.

Because when we know our worth, and have confidence in who the Lord created us to be, we can begin to glorify Him more.

And that is the truest Joy one can have.

Hanna Elizabeth

Prayer Beads for a Protestant

"Wait, are you going to pray the Rosary on that thing?"

No, I don't pray the Rosary, I'm Protestant.

"So if you're not Catholic, why would you use beads to pray?"

Disclaimer: this conversation didn't actually happen. This is more of a projection of how I would think it would play out if it did ever come up.
And since I have had a discussion recently about prayer, I decided I may as well explain this part of my prayer routine to the world...or at least to the four people who may read this blog.

But first, some background (because who doesn't love a good backstory, am I right?)

  I have always been curious about Rosaries, and praying with them. Several of my good friends are Catholic, and I can't count the number of rosaries I've seen in cars, on nightstands, in purses, and everywhere else in their possession. Some are ornate and made of beautiful beads, while others are made of simple string, knotted together.

To a freestyle praying Protestant, the idea of praying rote prayers, and even with a physical object seemed so very mysterious and interesting, yet rather strange as well. I mean, we really only pray the Lord's prayer, and creed.

Then one day, I stumbled upon a link to a blog on Facebook, for these things called prayer beads, that one of my protestant friends had posted about. The writer had described the use of prayer beads so beautifully, discussing how she uses them to pray for people, situations, even things in her own life.

I am a very tactile person, so the idea of having something physical to pray with, to keep me on track was an attractive idea. 

But, you might argue, "Protestants can't use something so very Catholic...right? I mean, they use it to ask for Mary's intercession. That is definitely something Protestants won't do," and you'd be right, but rote prayers, rejections of Catholic traditions, and Catholics vs. Protestants will have to wait for another day.

Yet who's to say that Protestants can't use prayer beads for a different type of prayer?

Now, of course, these are simply a tool used to help me with prayer. You don't have to use beads to be able to pray "properly". I don't use them every night, and certainly not every time I pray.
I used the beads from my Mom's old and broken Rosary (she grew up Catholic) and other beads and a cross I had at home to make my own. I like it, but it's nothing too special.

So here are 5 thoughts on why I use prayer beads.

1. They help me to focus.
    To easily, I begin to pray for those around me, or for certain problems, and within 5 minutes, my mind wanders to another dimension in which I'm married to Chris Evans and have a house with a porch. When I pray with my beads, I am able to focus, because each bead is a prayer for a different person or group, and I don't move on to the next bead until I finish my thoughts.

2. They help me organize my prayers.
   For me, each section of my beads is a different group. One for my family, one for friends, another for the country, my church, missions, etc. As I pray through each section, usually each person getting a bead, I thank the Lord for each of those things, before moving into praying for that group. I have at least nine individual prayers for each group, and that way, I don't usually forget a group I'm praying for, or forget to thank God for that group. My mind is more organized, and it helps to actively think about who and what I'm praying for.

3. They give my hands something to do.
    As I said before, I am a tactile person. I play with my rings, my bracelets, my sleeves, and everything else that's near me when I'm thinking or listening. When I pray with my beads, they give me something to do with my hands, and to fiddle with, so I am able to concentrate.

4. They give me prayer stamina.
    Part of my problem here is that I tend to lay in bed when I pray. After about five minutes, my mind wanders, and I drop off to sleep. The combination of kneeling while I pray, and using the beads, helps me to keep on track, and to pray for those on my list, which makes for a longer time in communication with the Lord.

5. Finally, they help remind me of what is important, and how I should be thankful.
    As I pray for my friends, my family members, and other issues in my own life, I am reminded of all of the blessings and gifts that the Lord has given me, and how he has blessed me. The fact that I can use nine beads to pray for my family members makes me thankful I have such a big family. The fact that I pray for my country, or for my church family, or anyone else brings to mind the fact that they are in my life, and I am blessed to have them.

When we spend time in prayer, we are spending time with God, the creator of the universe. He's not only willing, but loves to hear us speak to him, and to converse with us in a thousand different ways. It's truly incredible to think that when I pray, the One who makes the Earth spin, and calls the stars by name listens to my little voice. His amazing Grace envelops me, and helps me to know that I am His.
That is a comforting thought.

Hanna  Elizabeth
   

Yarn and My Tangled Life

Tonight I sat down to do a task that had been begging to be taken care of for months.
I sat down to untangle my insane pile of yarn.

The culmination of two half-finished knitting and crocheting projects, and four balls of yarn, this mass of green and blue had been sitting in my closet since before the semester began, patiently waiting for me to do something about it.
Finally, I got sick of seeing it every time I opened my closet. The ruins of two perfectly good projects, getting more massive and tangled every time I moved it around. Well, the yarn wasn't going to untangle itself, tonight may as well be the night.
And as I sat there on my floor, fiddling with a pile of mostly pistachio colored yarn (which is really difficult to untangle when it all looks the same), I began to notice some things.

1. I don't really know if I want a blanket in these colors.
2. The scarf that is is part of this tangle has taken me over a year to finish.
3. The harder I pull, the more hopelessly tangled and dense the yarn becomes.
4. I really need to follow one end at a time, in order to get it properly untangled.
5. I need to find a better way to store my yarn and projects.

But as I was thinking about these things, it occurred to me: Isn't life with the Lord sometimes like a wild mass of pistachio colored yarn?

Stay with me on this one for a moment.

In some ways, our lives are like this tangle of yarn.
     For one thing, the harder we pull and chafe, trying to do things our way, and with force, the more stubborn and knotted our lives become. We can pull and tug and force our way into situations all we want, but without the Lord to come alongside us, and start to untangle us, we are as helpless as that pile of yarn was in my closet. Unable to untangle and fix ourselves, and making it worse by trying to fix things with our own hands.
   
      Yet the Lord's hands are gentle, knowing which strings to pull, how to loosen the mass of tangles that we have become, and just how it will all come apart. He knows when we need an extra tug. He knows where that string of poor choices will lead, if it is not unraveled to reveal the heart of the issue. He knows how to fix and untangle all of it, because he has the whole picture. He knows where every one of those hundreds of strands lead.
   
      Every time I try to look at the big picture, or my version of it, it gets messier.

     I think I'm doing so much good for it, and that it's starting to look less knotted. I pull a loop here, unwrap a tangle there, but without knowing where everything goes and how it all fits together, it's a longer process, a futile effort, and I may as well put it back in my closet. It is only when I start with one strand, one end, and follow it where it leads me, that I can begin to unravel the bigger tangle.
     It is only when I trust and follow the Lord's plan for my life, that I am able to see the bigger picture of where he's leading me. It may seem like it'll be quicker to do it myself, to take on the bigger mass of yarn as a whole, and try to untangle it all myself.
     Sometimes it takes longer to follow the individual strands of yarn to their ends. It seems futile to follow when I could be doing a better job pulling it apart as a whole. Yet in the long run, it is much more productive for me to follow the path laid by one strand, and to complete it before moving onto another.

    Following the Lord's path for my life in the day to day tasks, as well as in the bigger issues can seem like drudgery. Sometimes (read, most of the time) I want to do it my way, and choose my timing.

Yet when I let him do the work in my heart, and fix the tangles in my life, and in my relationships with others, I find that somehow, miraculously, the clump of pistachio colored yarn becomes two projects and four balls of yarn again. I can finally finish the scarf that has taken me years, and maybe I'll give that pistachio colored blanket another shot.

Hanna Elizabeth

Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart

This morning, I was challenged with a question:

How often do I forget to trust in the Lord?

How often do I waste my time worrying, wondering, and chafing at God's timing, instead of trusting in his will for my life?
Lately, I have been struggling with a finance issue, which I could not find a way to solve. For days it sat at the back of my mind, the little voice of fear whispering words of worry, regret, and prompting me to forget all of the times that the Lord has brought me through with His mighty hand. For days I struggled to fix the problem on my own, seeking to find a solution which was easy and manageable, but nothing ever seemed to quite work out.
     Then the Lord began reminding me, in that quiet, gentle way he likes to do, of all the times he has come through for me, provided for me, and guided me down my path. It hasn't been easy, and the solutions often came in forms that I didn't expect or want right away. Yet through it all, He always, always, always has provided in one way or another. I've seen this work in the lives of many others as well.
I can say with confidence that he will again.

So this morning as I was asked this question, I wondered: if the Lord provides in some way every time I need him, why isn't my immediate response to trust?
   It reminds me of the story in Matthew 8, when Jesus calms the storm. The passage from Matthew 8:23-26 came to mind:

And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.

Keep in mind that this was immediately following the disciples witnessing Jesus healing many people, including the Centurion's servant from miles away, and Peter's own mother-in-law. I have sometimes marveled at this story, and others like it, aghast that the disciples could have possibly forgotten all that had just transpired, and been afraid of a storm, when the power of Jesus had been so clearly demonstrated.  
    But I have been realizing that I'm not so different from the disciples.

"Why are you afraid, oh you of little faith?".

Yep, that would definitely apply to me.

How often do we as Christians become fearful of the earthly struggles we deal with? How often do we so easily forget all of the times that the Lord has provided for us, taken care of us.
This doesn't mean that he will always work and provide for us in the way we want, or the way we think would be best. It also doesn't mean we won't be frustrated, and struggle on a daily basis. He promises us in John 16:33:

"In this world you will have trials and tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

He has overcome the world.

How can this change my perspective? My response to the worries of the world?
How can this prompt you to Choose His Joy?

Hanna Elizabeth

The Fear of Our Calling to Community.

I sat down this evening with a plan.
Doritos and Water bottle (Yes, I know, so very healthy) strategically placed next to me, and crocheting in my lap, I snuggled into my comfy chair to watch Psych on Netflix.
And that is exactly what I did.
For three hours.
My roommates came home, exercised, and we chatted for a while, before I inevitably became lost again in the world of a made up character.

Eventually, they went to bed, and I was left alone again, with my favorite show, a finished scarf, and the taste of Doritos in my mouth.

I don't even really like Doritos.

As I was getting ready for bed in a silent apartment, I realized that I hadn't even bothered to ask my roommates how their days were. Sure, we had chatted for a little while about workouts, and how they got the huge broken TV out of the house for cleanup week (They are blessed to have strong brothers that will work for desserts), but I hadn't asked them anything consequential, and our conversation was distracted at best.
I was too engrossed in my program.
But why? Why would I want to shut the world out, shut my friends out, instead of engaging, and at least giving them my full attention for more than 5 minutes?

I think it is because I am afraid. Afraid to engage, afraid to open up, to be real with people, and to have community with others.
It is so much easier to simply shut myself off, block out the world around me, and laugh at fictional characters for hours.

Yet what am I called to do, as a Christian?

Hebrews 10:24-25 English Standard Version (ESV)
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another;"

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

We are called, as Christians, to be in community with others. Communion, which we participate in during church with bread and wine, means to share in and exchange something.

We are called to exchange thoughts and engage with one another. Instead I sit on the sidelines, engaging in my own pointless entertainment.

What did I gain from those three hours watching Netflix? A few laughs, some insight into how to solve crimes perhaps?

What more would I have gained had I taken the time to engage in the community surrounding me, the people right in front of me, maybe asked them to elaborate on their day, their struggles, opened up about what I have been praying about lately?

Yes, it's difficult to be real with those around us.

To show who we really are, and engage after a long day of work or school.

It is much easier to simply fall into the rabbit hole of Netflix, Facebook, or the million other distractions which are at our fingertips.

Yet as I become less engaged, less willing to show who I truly am, and be real about the struggles I am facing, or the way the Lord is working in my life, the easier it is to become as two dimensional and surface level as the characters in my latest shows.

Those characters are an artist's rendering, only dim reflections of the real, complex people who I encounter every day.
The real people are the ones who I am called to love, and share with in community.

Hanna Elizabeth

On Noisy Neighbors and making Good Choices

I sat down tonight to write about the Lord's plan in my life. How He was working in providing me a job, how thankful I was that He has a much better plan for my life than I do, and how much better life is when I follow His plan instead of my own.

I even had a catchy title: God's Plan vs. my Plan. Which one is better? (Hint, it's not mine)

Then, my upstairs neighbors began their ritual. At least, I think that's what it must be, some sort of ritualistic dance, in which they must dance repeatedly in rhythmic patterns above my head in order to gain the favor of their deity.

Or...maybe they just have kids that wrestle instead of going to bed, we don't really know. 

Almost immediately, I became irritated. Not for myself, no. I don't have to get up for work in the morning. However, both of my roommates have lost hours of sleep over these ritualistic dancers above us, and they do have to wake up in the morning.

So my frustration and irritation was righteous, and for another...right?

Yet as I stood there, broom in hand, waiting for the dancing to begin anew so that I could "voice" my displeasure, it hit me...why did this bother me so much?

Was it really because my roommates were bothered? No, I'm pretty sure they're both asleep, and once they're gone, they're gone for the night.

Or, was it because I wanted something to be indignant about?

Did it really bother me that much, and should it bother me that much that my neighbors were loud? When I lived at my parents house, only two months ago, I lived right below the kitchen, and anyone walking above me for a drink of water made the old house grumble and squeak like an adolescent boy whose voice is changing. 

Then why was I so bothered by this disturbance that, honestly, shouldn't really disturb me? 

I don't know if I have an answer to that one, but I know that I do have a solution to my problem.

I think the Lord confronted me about as held that broom indignantly in the air, ready to make marks in my ceiling.

I can choose to be thankful.

Thankful for the job I just landed today, that is just what I need for the summer.

Thankful for the roommates I have, and that we get along so well.

For my parents who invite me over for lunch, and buy me ice cream.

For my sister, who puts her cold feet on me, and jumps the fence to my patio to make a sneak entrance, and who watches Psych with me over ice cream.

For the fact that I even have an apartment to live in.

And yes, for my upstairs neighbors, who are probably just trying their best to get their overactive kids down for the night.

Instead of choosing frustration, I can choose to be thankful for the hundreds and thousands of blessings that the Lord has seen fit to give me.

I can choose Joy, which is what this blog is all about.

Hanna Elizabeth 

 

Good friends, and unity within the Church (with a capital C)

          Greater Love has no one than this: That a man lay down his life for his friends-John 15:13

You know that you have good friends when they come from across town to help you jump start your car. Because you left your lights on...all night...for the fifth time...

Yet still they come to bail you out, my "knights in t-shirts" as these ladies call themselves. A fitting title I would say.

Trivial to them, as I would find out, but a huge blessing to me.

Which, as I was driving around, charging up the battery to my newly running vehicle, brought me to this question: 

Is there a time in life when one does not need good friends? I can say with certainty...no.

In fact, as Christians, I would say we are called to have good friends, to have community which we can turn to, to help each other out, to build each other up, and to work together as the body of Christ.

This, as it turns out, is what we discussed in Bible study tonight.

--Side note about this bible study: It is one of the best I have been a part of, mainly because all of us are from different Protestant denominations, have somewhat different doctrines, yet there is so much we can agree on. Now if only we had a Catholic or two in our group....But I'm get ahead of myself--

Isn't it great when the Lord uses our circumstances to illustrate a point he was trying to make?

The insights I gained from Bible study tonight:

We, as humans, are designed for community, and as Christians, a community of believers. All of us have different gifts and abilities which play off of each other. Romans 12:5 calls us "one body in Christ, and individually members of one another." (ESV)  

Why then, must we divide ourselves within the body of Christ? How can we, as Christians, of any denomination, Protestant, Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, or any others, forget to work together, forget that we serve the same God? 

How can we, as the Church (with a capital C, meaning the whole body of believers) possibly hope to let the Lord change the world through us if we cannot, at the very least, momentarily put aside our differences in doctrine, theology, or even the color of the (little c: the building) church carpet, and seek the Lord's goodness?

As I mulled over these things on the way home, I wanted to jump straight into my newly minted blog to write about it. 

But the Lord stopped me as I opened my computer, and a thought popped into my head.

Read your bible first

So, after a brief struggle of will, in which I finally decided He was right (as per usual), I opened my bible and began to read, and this passage popped out at me:

     First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for ALL people...This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:1-5 (emphasis mine)

The Lord doesn't want certain types of peoples, or certain denominations and groups of people to get to know him. The Lord wants ALL people to know him, and to be saved by Him. We, as the Church should want that as well. If we were to work together, seeking the Lord and spreading His Love, instead of seeking to be right, how could the Lord use us even more? 

Don't get me wrong, doctrine and theology are important, and should not be taken lightly. To throw theology out the window would be a grave and very hurtful mistake, for theology shapes our understanding of who God is.

 However, as we zoom out and look at the big picture of God working through the Church, the question remains: How much more effective would the Church be, if we remembered that we are ALL brothers and sisters in Christ, not just the people who go to our church?

Something to consider,

Hanna Elizabeth  

On Choosing Joy...and this blogging thing

"I don't know why I blog, I just do."

This answer seemed insufficient to me, but maybe my friend was just being cryptic. She tends to do that when she wants me to find my own answers, instead of stealing hers. :)

And that is where this journey begins-a question about blogging, and just enough curiosity to want to try it. A place to put all of my thoughts, ideas, questions, (hopefully) insights, and life.
Maybe not for the world to see, but just for a select few, whoever you are.
So first, a little bit about me. I recently graduated from college as an education major, and I'm seeking to find out where the Lord wants to put me. I know how to cook a total of 5 things, one of them being oatmeal (yay!) and I enjoy crocheting and knitting. I love photographing sunsets, soulful worship music, and I'm an introverted extrovert, (more on that in later posts). I love to stargaze, and just to watch the sky in general, and I've been known to go to some pretty crazy places to get a good picture. Anyways, onto the name of this blog...

The choice to be Joyful isn't something I thought about until this year. I can be a complainer, but I try to make positivity (spellcheck says that's not a word, but I'm almost certain it is) a staple in my life. Sometimes I do this better than other times.
But my friend (you know, the one that likes to get me to think for myself, we'll call her Be), made a good point one night while we were stargazing (because, if you've ever been to North Dakota, you'll know its probably one of the best places in the world to stargaze).

"You don't always feel Joyful, it has to be a choice you make."
This hit me strangely when I first heard it.
"How can you choose to be Joyful? Isn't Joy a feeling, an emotion?"
"What about "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). We don't always feel the Lord's Joy, or express it..."
This conversation, like many others we've had, made me reconsider. Joy must not be solely an emotion, because if it was, the minute we didn't feel Joyful, the strength from the Lord would be gone, and that's not the case.
Part of Joy is being positive and thankful. There is always something to be thankful for, something to revel in. If you can't find anything in your own life, look to other people's lives, and how the Lord is working there. Just look outside your window, the sky is beautiful, even when it's rainy, and there are a million things to be excited about in God's creation!

SO...Long story long, this is my choice to be Joyful, to be filled with His Joy, and allow Him to work in my heart and in my life. Joy despite the circumstances is a choice one makes every day.

Father, please give me a heart of your everlasting Joy, give me your strengthening Joy, and help me to seek you every day. Amen

Until next time!

Hanna Elizabeth